[Previously published in Asia Blogging Network.]
by Jennie S. Bev
In 1983, Howard Gardner, a Harvard professor, shook the world with his Multiple Intelligences theory in Frames of Mind, later in 1993 with Multiple Intelligences: New Horizon, and lately with Five Minds for the Future. He has re-shaped how we think about our potentials and how we see the world. He has shown us how we are multi-dimensional human beings and that we can tap into whatever we own inside to succeed.
Based on his works, many researchers have used it as the foundation of other fascinating theories, such as Daniel Goleman’s Emotional Intelligence: Why It May Be More Important than IQ. One of the latest works that has been receiving numerous accolades is Karl Albrecht’s Social Intelligence: The New Science of Success. (Note: This Karl Albrecht is not the 87-year old #15 billionaire in 2007 according to Forbes, however. Same name, different person.)
The latter may be overlooked and misunderstood as merely “people skills” or “interpersonal skills,” which are misconceptions that need to be straightened and understood. According to Albrecht, the plain definition of “social intelligence” is the ability to get along well with others and to get them cooperate with you. It is within the line of good people skills and interpersonal skills, but it has something extra.
It is a very simple definition, indeed. After all, the best theories are the simplest to describe and the easiest to understand. What is incredibly simple, however, can be quite a remarkable and significant contribution to mankind. One that would echo throughout our lifetime to replenish the desire in maintaining a successful life, to preserve the so-called “success mindset,” as I call it.
To better comprehend this insightful definition, let us start with our surroundings. I recall how a good friend of mine who lives in a neighboring suburb town once said, “Not all children are equally lovable. Some of them are easy to love, while others are hard to love.” How true it is, regardless of the notion that people are born as clean slates (tabula rasa). Some elements of ourselves are pre-determined, obviously. It may have something to do with the various levels of each intelligence we possess that creates the overall blue print of ourselves, our characters, attributes, and personalities.
Like the other types of intelligence, as put forth by Howard Gardner, of which at least there are eleven of them, social intelligence is partly influenced by our pre-determined elements. It is, of course, improvable to some degree. How it flourishes and affects the overall personality, however, cannot be predicted beforehand, simply because people have a multitude of other intertwined intelligences that are likely to influence each other.
Albrecht did, however, describe the five distinct dimensions of social intelligence.
1. Situational awareness. It is some sort of “social radar,” which manifests in how well you sense, read, and interpret situations and people’s reactions to situations.
2. Presence. It is the whole package of physical and non-physical attributes that make others trust you, including voice, appearance, movements, and other patterns.
3. Authenticity. This one is based on others’ “social radar,” which translate our attributes and behaviors as positive and trustworthy. Authenticity is an important element that would create loyalty from others.
4. Clarity. How we convey ideas and inspire must be done with clarity, which eventually provides a clear direction on what we want others to do with or for us.
5. Empathy. It is primarily a shared feeling between two people, which creates a level ground for positive interaction and, eventually, cooperation.
These elements of social intelligence may sound like the so-called “emotional intelligence.” They might, but the latter is about self-awareness and self-management. It is more about getting in tune with our heart, rather than about how others perception that will or will not result in cooperations with others.
A good case is the late American president Ronald Reagan. He was a classic example of a person with very high social intelligence but with average or below average emotional intelligence. He was accepted, praised, and remembered by general public as “The Great Communicator.” He has the candor, the look, the right tone of voice, the confident towering stature, and the commendable negotiation skill that has ended the Cold War era. He even made good friends with Mikhail Gorbachev, his former foe. His smiling images in which he held hands with his love of his life Nancy are testaments of how people around the world remember him by: a special man in the public eye.
Whatever he did, he did them effortlessly with the whole world watching with astonished eyes. Yet, at home, he was known as a distant father who did not know how to praise his children properly, which explained why Patti, his daughter, decided not to use his last name any longer. It also explained why his gay son Ronald Reagan, jr. felt so left out by his own father.
The same can be seen in many public figures’ lives. Most politicians and public leaders are known for their superb negotiating and convincing skills. They are a bunch of people who can mesmerize the whole world and leave them not blinking. They can motivate and influence others to work for and with them for a cause. They are fabulous motivators of others, in their own way. They can make others feel cared for and willing to die for something common.
On the lighter side, there are people who are known to be “super flirtatious.” By “flirtatious” here I am not referring to a playboyish appeal. It is simply that some people have the tendency to be at complete ease with others and can make them feel as if they had known them for years. Such people are known to have been blessed with charisma, to be a human magnet who can attract both sexes with the same graceful charm.
Now can we improve our social intelligence, or is it merely a privilege in special people? Sure, there is no doubt that we can improve it over time. The key is to align all other intelligences to create a sharp arrow with social intelligence as the pointed tip. Social intelligence is how well we portray ourselves to the world and how to make them fall in love with us and our works. It is one person (you) in front of millions, unlike emotional intelligence that is one (you) in front of one and a few (loved ones and friends).
Undoubtedly, people with strong social intelligence tend to have the so-called strong personal brand. And by “personal brand,” I am referring to “how well one can make people feel when they see or listen to you.” All kinds of leaders are likely to possess both, even though may not be in equal proportions.
At last, social intelligence is a blade with two sides. If we use it for the betterment of mankind, no matter how minuscule, it is worth all the stars in the sky. Whoever you are, having strong social intelligence is the way to having long-term success. After all, no man is an island and a task can be done much effortlessly if completed with a few more extra helping hands along the way. And life can be much brighter knowing that we have touched many people’s hearts and minds. Just make sure to do the things we do mindfully and heartfully.[]
